It’s been a while since I’ve penned my thoughts down. Let’s see. Since my last post, I learned a massive lesson in controlling my need for speed. This involved a cop car, sirens and a HUGE dent on my credit card bill. I also failed my detox miserably. I did however learn that you cannot meander off the path for any exceptions (even just one scoop of Haagen Daaz Belgian Chocolate ice-cream) because once you do, there’s no turning back. I learned this lesson one day into my 2-week detox. Nonetheless, I managed to accomplish what I intended to with the detox in a mere few days, and unintentionally too! I lost a couple of kilos to allow me to nicely fit into the dress for the wedding. I spent the past weekend in Beirut despite the mania leading up to the upcoming meetings. It was a beautiful wedding and perhaps the best part was meeting and getting to better know a few new people. It gives me comfort to know that there are that many nice people inhabiting my desert. I really should work less and devote more time to socializing. Attached is a shot I took from our breakfast table on Friday morning.
Beirut carries with it so much nostalgia for the days gone by. It reminds me of my college days and my rambunctious and restless character, wanting to take in everything and squeeze so much into so little time. I must say, it seems nothing has changed! I also got to savour some of the familiar and local delicacies I love: Saj, Manakeesh, and the largely underestimated merry cream from Bliss House as well as spend quality time with the BFF, the god child, the sis and the BF. The perfect round-up.
On matters of the heart, things got a little shaky early in the trip but were back on track. Long distance is like a time warp. Events are disconnected because so much of what happens in between seeing each other is lost in the memory of cyberspace and phone space. Alot of the communication also happens in your head. Sometimes I wonder, did I have this conversation or did I imagine the conversation in my head and then think that I had it? Hmmm… I think you get what Im saying. The point is a cliched one. Communication is key and the lack thereof makes room for issues. That combined with the pressures of family. My big question is, how do you start a relationship long distance ? Does the path less followed, or rather, the more difficult path lead to rainbows and pots of gold? Does anyone out there have any advice?
The happy news is that I’m 3 days away from getting back on a plane, direction Beirut, for another wedding and hopefully more quality time with the BF. For now, it’s best I catch up on my sleep given my late arrival last night offered me only 4 hours of slumber. I wake up to French class and a ridiculously busy day at work. Life is good.
Paris je t’aime.
There’s something you should know about me. I’m the epitome of black and white, an ultimate extremist. I’m not proud of it, especially when the extreme I happen to be on is the destructive one, enter the excessive indulgence in chocolate and candy this past week.
So here comes my confession. I did not in fact run when I promised I would. I apologize for that. But the morning I have spent today, (I believe) compensates for that shortfall and demonstrates the new commitment I’ve made in the opposite extreme.
I promised you plans were being made but more than that a lot of psychological preparation. I’ve decided to go on a detox for 2 weeks and I’m strangely excited about it. This means no carbs, no dairy and no sugar for the next 15 days. Yikes! I also finally made it to the gym this morning. What a liberating feeling! It’s been a year and 6 months since I ran my first 10K and 1 year since I’ve been to the gym. I expected not to last 5 minutes so I’m secretly proud of my performance. I decided not to push it too far today. I did 3kms in 27mins. Not very ambitious but I feel great and Im reassured I can regain my stamina if I persevere.
I then made my way to the spa for some much needed R&R. I spent 20 minutes in the Jacuzzi followed by a 60 minute detoxifying seaweed body wrap and a 60 minute Elemis facial. Bliss.
The treatment was amazing. I was scrubbed with salts and then slathered with a very fishy smelling seaweed paste. I was then wrapped in plastic like a mummy and my spa bed was immersed into warm water with barely enough wiggle room making me feel like I was back in the womb. During that time my therapist gave me a scalp massage that I felt released a lot of confused thoughts and tension. I could almost see ideas leaving my head in cartoon bubbles. 20 minutes into the treatment and I think I had sweated out all the toxins in my body. A messy treatment but strangely soothing despite being mummified. I felt immediately great afterwards: lighter, happier, more zen.
This was followed by a healthy lunch and a mani & pedi in a beautiful bright coral – perfect for summer.
It’s been an interesting week overall. The company offsite from last week definitely helped boost my morale. It’s been a productive, positive week and I’m very proud to say that I managed to leave work at a relatively decent hour almost every day. For me, that’s big progress.
Better work-life balance (so far!) and a healthier approach to life. I’m very happy with this start!
Happy Friday to all!
So the master plan hasn’t kicked into gear yet unless you count point #4 in my list below (baking). A delicious blueberry cheescake. Ok, so I didn’t bake it myself but I generously enjoyed it. You must be reassured dear reader that I am neither giving in nor making excuses. The planning is happening behind the scenes and is in full gear. I have decided to tackle point #2 first. Running.
I’m hitting the gym after work tomorrow. It’s been a year. I can’t wait!
Soon enough, I’ll tackle point #4 head-on so watch this space for some fabulous photos of my own baking.
Someone special recently said to me “Hate something, Change something”. What a wonderfully simple notion for something so complicated. This ad captures that sentiment perfectly.
This led me to the natural next question…why is it so difficult for us to change what we’re unhappy about? Complacency? Fear of the unknown? Pride? Financial implications? All of the above probably apply to me and they may count as good excuses but what I know with certainty is that I’m tired of making any excuses whether good or bad. In the interest of chasing rainbows and daisies like this colorful Honda dream, the time to make a change has come. Hate can be good, hate can even be great if it compels you to change something and make something better. Some of the best successes in my own life were born from taking risks, and maybe even a little hate! Perhaps it’s time for a new leap of faith. So, what’s next?
Here’s a list of the things I know I love but have never fully explored. I will tackle them one by one over the next few months until I fall in love with one of them and then I’ll know. Right? That sounds pretty easy. I hope.
- Helping Others
- Interior Design
- Foreign Films
- Romantic anything…
*gulp* Should I be feeling as overwhelmed as I do right now? Maybe. But I am scrapping any negative thoughts. My cup is now half full. I am plugging forward in search of my passion. Baby steps will guide my way.
A small introduction:
I am a 30-yr old girl who is either having a premature mid-life crisis or is simply overweighed by the thought that I have spent the last 30 years of my life doing alot but not much really, unless you count my professional successes (in the grander scheme of life, who cares about those really!) and my countless travel adventures (the source of much happiness to me). I have no special talents, no die-hard hobbies or passions that would compel me to do the crazy things sports fans may do. Worse than that, I am an expert at starting things and not seeing them through. At the moment, I have 9 unfinished books by my bed, a work-in-progress business plan which I believe is my salvation from the corporate world I detest, and a gym membership & personal trainer hours from which I am an active absentee. Additionally, I am a waster. I owe a ridiculous sum of money in speeding fines, am accumulating shopping debt and am quickly realizing that despite being a corporate slave, my riches do not amount to the hours I have put in over the last decade.
I’m not sure what compelled me to do this. I am a virgin blogger and although this will probably be read by no-one but myself, there is pressure in knowing that these words I write will be floating in the public eye of cyberspace and that I am somehow accountable for the promises I make.
This blog is dedicated to helping me discover myself, my interests, my passions and my loves. I long to have a hunger for something. To be able to make the cliche claim that I am doing something I love and that “my job is not a job”. In the meantime, I am also looking for a reconciliation with love. What is it? Really? How do you know when you have found it? When do you know that it is right? Where should i start on my road to discovering myself? I don’t know what this road entails. It may be smooth, it may be bumpy. I am willing to endure for the sole comfort of knowing that at the end of that (hopefully short!) winding road is a strong realization for who I am and what I love. I only hope this road will be filled with much laughter, love and adventure.
Let the exploration begin…